Hasta la vista January

Tea pot you're not alone
Tea pot you're not alone

The last day of January.  Those 31 days slipped right by, didn't they?

If you're like most people you made some resolutions, some proclamations, set some goals, wrote some things down.  Did you take any steps towards accomplishing them yet?  One little step?  Or are you still thinking about it?

Apparently I'm still thinking about it because it's January 31st today and I'm really not quite sure how it happened.

One of my blogger friends opens herself up to confession every Tuesday...to her community.  Yikes.  That could be considered being authentic, getting out of your head, or maybe just plain scary.  I'm thinking confession might help me move out of a dismal, emotional January and into a light and lovely February so here goes...

I confess...a lot of the time I don't know where I belong.  I am surrounded by family and friends, I have many interests, yet I find myself feeling lost more frequently than I would like.  It's easy to blame this on being introverted but the truth of the matter is, I just feel a little lost.

I confess...I have a hard time putting myself first.  I have big dreams for myself but I struggle to get there because I'm a Mom.  There are times when important things come up for me and I have to choose - me or them.  I'm getting better about choosing me on those rare occasions but there's always that lingering wonder...should I have chosen them?  Do they care if I'm there or not?  My brain tells me that missing one of my kids events is not life changing for anyone but my heart tells me different. It sucks a little fun out of the choice for me, and it makes it difficult to choose me again.  Do you struggle with this too?

I confess...trying to figure yourself out is hard.  Sheesh.  Not in a grief/loss/devastation kind of way...just hard.  My brain is tired.  I absolutely love to cheer you on as you take the adventure to find your dreams and live your best life but keeping myself motivated?  Hmmm...hard.  The good news?  It's totally worth every minute.

I confess...I still don't know what I'm doing.  I'm not sure I ever will but in all fairness this dreaming stuff is a moving target.  What I know for sure (thanks Oprah) is that I love to hear your stories.  I love to talk with you - women that are excited about life and women that are dreaming.  I am curious about your dream, I want to know how you did it, I want to know why you did it.  I have become a question asker, that's what I love.  Now I confess that I'm worried you're going to run away from me when you see me coming. I promise not to pry...well, unless you give me an opening;)

I confess...after a lot of soul searching and question asking of myself I've really found only one solution that seems to work  - TAKE ACTION.  Will my children survive me not showing up to their basketball games?  I'll never know unless I try.  Which I did, by the way and yes, they did survive. I, on the other hand, didn't like it one bit.

I confess...I get my inspiration to keep going and to keep trying from YOU.  Let's get together for lunch at my house and tell stories, want to?  I need to know you are still dreaming:)

Hasta la vista January.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.  February, the month of love, is going to be all about passion.  We've got 28 days to revel in our passions and to celebrate the passions of our friends around us.  You don't know what your passion is?  Make February your month of self-love, see if you can find a clue.

And now you can help me to feel less awkward by maybe confessing that you are a dorky mom that doesn't know what she's doing and feels lost sometimes?

When are we having lunch?  I'll host if you promise to tell me a story:)